Hello Darlings,
As I was getting dressed this evening to go out for a late dinner with Andrew, I was watching some random dating show on which men were complaining of how pain-in-the-a** some women are, in one word: “HIGH-MAINTENANCE” when it comes to their appearance.
It got me thinking…..
I am pretty sure that most of my life people assume that I am “high- maintenance” because I always try to look my best. Without a single interaction, judgments are passed. To a certain degree I am used to it, but on complete opposite side of the spectrum-it hurts being seen in such light.
I am pretty sure that most of my life people assume that I am “high- maintenance” because I always try to look my best. Without a single interaction, judgments are passed. To a certain degree I am used to it, but on complete opposite side of the spectrum-it hurts being seen in such light.
So what is “High-Maintenance Woman” and why is she such a pain-in-the-behind?
Definition
high-main·te·nance
adjective
- requiring excessive amount of attention or effort to maintain
- ex: a high-maintenance car; a high-maintenance relationship.
- ex: a high-maintenance car; a high-maintenance relationship.
Male Perspective …
as described on ASKMEN.com
“High maintenance women are like high maintenance sports cars. They’re lots of fun when you’re out on the town together, but for every hour of showing off, there are another 10 spent on upkeep and repair behind the scenes. After hours of polishing the headlights in your garage, you might ask yourself — is this really worth it, just for a couple of rides? Probably not, but that doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t consider dating high maintenance women.”
as described on ASKMEN.com
“High maintenance women are like high maintenance sports cars. They’re lots of fun when you’re out on the town together, but for every hour of showing off, there are another 10 spent on upkeep and repair behind the scenes. After hours of polishing the headlights in your garage, you might ask yourself — is this really worth it, just for a couple of rides? Probably not, but that doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t consider dating high maintenance women.”
“These women love dressing up whenever possible, and are obsessed with all aspects of their personal appearance and grooming in general. This almost obsessive attention to detail usually extends beyond their person, to their homes or apartments, their pets, and yes, even their men. In addition, they tend to be perfectionists, overachievers, self-centered, and a bit vain.”
- Pros
: She looks like a million bucks“High maintenance gals are arm candy, pure and simple. They look perfect.”
- Cons: She knows she looks like a million bucks
“The worst pitfall to dating this type of woman is without a doubt dealing with her vanity. And other negative traits accompany vanity, such as being a spendthrift; she may blow huge wads on things like manicures, self-tanning, and keeping up with each and every trend.”
READ MORE HERE.… Click!
My Take
Although I realize that being “high-maintenance” has a lot more to do then just looks. However, most of the time women are placed into this category strictly because of their appearance. I see nothing wrong with looking great. I love dressing up, wearing awesome shoes,I love having perfectly polished nails…. I love looking great! When I look great, I feel great!!! Sure there are extremes, but most of the time the so-called “high-maintenance” women are just the ones who enjoy looking their best. I mean why not??? What is soooo wrong with it?
So, I admit when it comes to appearance I would be placed into this category. But I refuse to see it in the negative light. Just because you take care of yourself, it is all of the sudden wrong? Personally, I do not spend lots of time or money on grooming. It takes me about 45 minutes to get ready. I do my own mani and pedi 2 times a week. I have my hair done every two month.I go to salon to thread my eye brows. And I get facial twice a year.Looking your best does not require lots of money… all you have to do is be willing to spend some time on yourself. And don’t you deserve to spend an hour or two/week on yourself? Which woman does not like to be pampered?
I don’t understand why men refer to women in the same terms as they refer to cars???? DO I LOOK LIKE A CAR?????? No….all I do is try to look great>> and what is the crime in that? I am not self-obsessed, actually quite opposite… I am my self’s worst critic.
I believe that peoples appearance has nothing to do with who they are as a person and stereotyping based on such criteria is simply ridiculous!!!! AND how come women are the only ones refered to in such a way, can’t men be also “high-maintenance”??? I think so…
-What does “high-maintenance” mean to you?
-Do you consider yourself “high-maintenance”?
-Do you think being “high-maintenance” is wrong?
-Do you consider yourself “high-maintenance”?
-Do you think being “high-maintenance” is wrong?
Darlings, I am really looking forward to your honest answers!!!
With Love…
Marta
Marta
Sources:jak&jil; le love blog;the english muse; lolita blog.
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Martha, "high-maintenance women" are not only women that want to keep the best appearance.
High-maintenance women, like to be spoiled and require lots and lots of money. 99% of the times they don't have their own income and the only thing they do all day is to sit in front of the mirror.
I would never date a girl that walks in the street with pijamas and dirty hair. I want a woman that looks good, but this should not be the only target/ambition in her life.
Hi Marta
jst wanted to let u know that i lovvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvve u r blog and u r style is absoultly gorgouse!!!!
no high maintenmce is not wrong ,i find that my hubby complains when i spend too much time looking after myself but he does appreciate it and loves that i take care of myself and it inspires him too , like when he sees me slathering on my night cream he will go and use hes too and hes loving the results.
keep up the fanstaic posts !!!
love
rose
I think, you are "groomed & polished", but not "high maintenance". To me, groomed woman is what I consider to be perfect. High maintenance woman is somebody who spends A LOT OF MONEY and TIME on her appearance, so it's more like an obsession. I think if men think long-term, then they'd prefer to be with a beautiful women who takes care of her appearance. If it's something for a quickie, just to show off how much money HE has, then he'll be ok with a high maintenance girl. Just my opinion, really.
I also do my best to look good. Just like you I do my mani-pedi at home. I take care of my skin and also do it at home. I've been to a salon a couple of times, but so far they haven't done anything I couldn't do myself and it's quite different from what I am used to (facials and salon treatments are very different in my home country). What I spend my money on is a good hair cut, good hair products and face treatments (I don't have many, just exactly what I need) and some beatiful things to wear (although I don't shop often and buy classics that lasts). Some people also say that I am a bit of a high maintenance, but I don't care as they don't know me and only judge by what they see and what THEY think is right.
Have a lovely weekend, honey! x
I certainly agree that "high-maintenance" has a negative connotation. But I don't agree with some of the words above: being high-maintenance and wanting to look your best does not necessarily mean you are "vain." I am not "vain" but I do not like to leave the house without brushing my hair and dressing properly! I don't think that is wrong. There is nothing wrong with taking 45 minutes to get ready in the morning: it is only too much if you take 2 hours! I take about 20 minutes, but perhaps that is because I concentrate on other things in the morning (such as sleeping in, or checking my e-mail!)
Besides, men can be high-maintenance as well: my boyfriend takes longer than I do to get ready! But again, I don't see anything wrong with a well-groomed, clean man. Much better than a man who neglects to shave or change his underwear on a daily basis, LOL!
I don't consider myself "high-maintenance," but I also don't think it is wrong. I don't think that people should become obsessed with their appearance and constantly check themselves in reflections and mirrors, and only think or talk about hair and make-up… I think that any obsession is unhealthy, and as individuals we must be well-balanced! N'est-ce pas?
Isnt it only natural for women to be high maintenance , when we spend all day trying to look your best for self confidence… appearance and worst of all the male population
they criticize women and are allways looking for the perfect women, of course everyone wants an ideal partner but its taken too far.
The fashion industry as much as i hate to fault it =[, is also to blame as they portray the 'perfect' women and yes models are stunningly beautiful but it sets an image that we feel the need to aspire to. And the only way to do that is to take immense pride in our image .
My view - As women we like to take pride in ourselves to make sure everything is neat tidy and presentable its human nature.. so there really is no such thing as being ' high maintenance ' as how can you judge it.
interesting post very thought provoking
x
well.. i gotta say, high-maintenance means you really care about yourself, especially your appearance, well, i gotta say i'm not a really high-maintenance girl, but sometimes i can be one..
ti think being high-maintenance isn't wrong, depends on your own capability to fulfill your needs
xx
well.. i gotta say, high-maintenance means you really care about yourself, especially your appearance, well, i gotta say i'm not a really high-maintenance girl, but sometimes i can be one..
ti think being high-maintenance isn't wrong, depends on your own capability to fulfill your needs
xx
well.. i gotta say, high-maintenance means you really care about yourself, especially your appearance, well, i gotta say i'm not a really high-maintenance girl, but sometimes i can be one..
ti think being high-maintenance isn't wrong, depends on your own capability to fulfill your needs
xx
I think high maintenance is more about looks. I always try too look my best and I wouldn't really consider myself high maintenance. I guess guys and girls have different definitions for it.
Being high maintenance is probably more about needing constant attention and just always needing to get your way. Obviously theres nothing wrong with knowing what you want, but like everything, there are extremes.
I agree that people oftne make assumptions based on appearance, such as being high maintenance. However, I think there can be other definitions. For example, I have one friend that I would consider to be high maintenance for her boyfriend. She needs and expects constant attention and can be quite bossy and I think that it would be a lot of work to date her, so I think that is definately high maintenance.
I wouldn't consider myself high maintenance, but not low maintanence either. Somewhere in the middle.
I don't think there is anything wrong with being high maintenance, especially if you enjoy pampering yourself.
I think that men compare us with cars because they think that they have to spend a lot of money when they are dating a "high-maintenance girl", but we can look beautiful without a lot of money… besides, if they want to be with a beautiful girl, they have to put up with our maintenance! haha
xoxo
such a wonderful + well written post girl.
ah. i think i'm on the opposite end of anything high-m.
i get my hair cut once a year and take less then 10 min to get ready! i'm a bum!
but i don't think there should be any classification at all.
everyone is so DIFFERENT and we should celebrate that, regardless of how long they take to get ready!
the most important part is the heart.
x
I honestly believe that high maintenance means that you are not comfortable enough with yourself to just let yourself just be. A high maintenance person will pluck, pull and color themselves to no return as a way of escaping who they really are. THis being said, I am very low maintenance, in fact im sure many people would prefer that was a little more 'maintenance' its hard to find a happy medium. I don't think high maintenance is wrong per say, but I will say that peole that are like that should really reconsider it and learn to love themselves in a more simple way.
Ugh, that car comparison really got me.
High maintenance is anyone - regardless of sex - who always needs/craves attention and is quite spoiled. Haha (; I hope I'm not high maintenance! But there is nothing wrong with it, if in small doses (;
bisous,
La C.
What an interesting post topic! Personally, my view of high-maintenance is the same as yours. There are extremes in which a woman can just be called vain and highly self-absorbed, but I think every woman should care about her appearance and want to look good! The car comparison annoyed me; women should NOT be compared to cars!
I consider myself a big high maintenance at times, it mainly depends on my mood, or whether I am feeling lazy or not.
Love this post ♥
xo
Tina
YOUR EVERYDAY STYLE
P.S. You may remember that sometime in February I disappeared from the blogosphere…just wanted announce to my fellow bloggers that I have decided to officially return to my blog, and I have a new post up! ♥
Love those heels!
As you correctly said, high-maintenance isn't just about appearance, but many men focus on that aspect when using the term. I totally agree with everything you said and don't see anything wrong with being groomed and wanting to look your best. I also don't think men really have anything to complain about, because it's not them who have to groom you (unlike they would need to do with cars… an inappropriate comparison anyway) - we do it ourselves and what we do with ourselves is our own business. I also think men can be the same, they just do it differently (i.e. with sports, in the gym etc.).
Great post and a lovely blog by the way
Hi Marta, High Maintenance for me, means just spend time in look good, no for others, just for yourself.
I really consider myself a high maintenance,.
High maintenance no is just when that don't become a obsession.
Good Information.
I have to agree with you here.
I get my eyebrows waxed every month, my hair cut regularly and a facial twice a year but that does not make me "high-maintenance."
I do these things to make myself look good and in turn feel good which makes me have more confidence.
I think the idea of "high-maintenance" is not so much a persons appearance as their personality eg vain and a "control freak"
And as you mentioned I hate the way that only women are described as being "high-maintenance" and never men.
A Great post though you raised some interesting points and it definitely got me thinking…
Beth xx
I can't see anything wrong with taking the time to look good. I think the "high maintenance" tag only applies when someone can't look beyond looking perfect.
*Lovely post.
*That pic of Gisele is to die for.
*I agree with what you're saying.
Men are funny…they like good-looking, taken care of women but they don't want them to spend any time on their looks?? Confusing. *AskMen: Enjoying fashion and manicures (and etc.) doesn't make one vain. Vanity is something completely different.
Marta, regarding “high maintenance women.” As a man I do not see you as a woman in that category at all. You enjoy fashion but you are secure in who you are, just as you are. I do not see you as a woman who is defined by money or material things. I knew a man 25 years ago who married a woman I would call high maintenance. It was a routine for her to spend $10,000 to $20,000 a month on herself and her clothing. Even today that is a large amount of money considering the economy we live in. She also required a new car (Mercedes) every year otherwise she considered herself out of place. I hope you can see there is a psychological relationship in regard to how women see themselves. It is normal for a woman to care for herself and to desire to be attractive and special. The problem is several men will not maintain a relationship with a woman who spends more than they do in life. There is a special elegance to a woman who is attractive, intelligent and knows how to maintain financial responsibility. Nice to see everything is good for you and Andrew, you two are cute together.
Hmm, for me high-maintenance simply means spending alot to look and feel good, and unfortunately I dont see myself being high-maintenance and I do not feel it is wrong as long as he/she spends him/her own money
xo,
black|coffee|crumbs
I "maintain" myself - so I don't know why any guy would have a problem with it. They don't need to maintain me.
Besides, I'll pretty much go either way. I'll go camping in the desert for days, never shower, forget makeup, poop in the woods… Is that high-maintanance? NO.
I'll also spend hours on my hair and makeup if I am going out somewhere special. Is that high-maintanance? YES.
I am what I am, whatever that is…but for the most part I think I'm far too lazy to be high-maintanance…and that's OK with me.
(I also think that when most men complain about high-maintainence women, they mean it as it "have to have attention 24/7, must have lots of money spent on them, afraid to be alone, afraid to have fun and get dirty, etc" - sadly most women ARE like that, not an independant or laid-back bone in their body)
If being high maintenance means taking the time to look after myself (and enjoying it!) then yes I definitely am! If you can't be bothered to make an effort (and that can be any kind of effort) then what does it say about yourself. After all, many people, (sometimes unfairly!) judge us on our appearance. From When Harry Met Sally… I'm an HM. And proud of it!! x
I truly don't like harsh labels such as these. Labels like "high-maintenance" or "fat" or "skinny" that have negative connotations and can easily be avoided with a little sensitivity.
Over the years, I have developed a routine: every 4 weeks I get my gel nails done, every 8 weeks I get my hair cut, I do my own pedi weekly, and self-tanner every 4 days. These little things help to shape my look and style - and therefore are a part of who I am. Not a large part, of course, but definitely a part. I don't care what others think of my routine - I love looking down at my nails - they make me feel pretty. Me…not my boyfriend or my friends, me. That is my outlook on maintenance. I adore fashion as well, and have fun with it, for me. There's nothing wrong with that. I believe that you should do what makes you happy and brings you confidence, within reason, and not worry about how others try to label you…for some of the time, it is because in fact, they are jealous or simply don't relate or understand.
Enjoy little luxuries in life, whatever that means to you, personally
I'd consider myself high-maintenance when it comes to grooming. I might not always have on the perfect outfit, but my brows will always be tweezed, my makeup put on and my nails manicured. I think taking the time to put yourself together shows a certain level of self-respect. I treat myself well and I expect others to do the same.
Being high-maintenance as far as appearance is concerned does not always translate to being high maintenance in relationship, though sometimes it does. But if being high-maintenance means demanding respect and courtesy from your significant other, then we should all be high-maintenance.
This post was such a thrill to read, grazie mille! I consider myself very high-maintenance about my looks but for me it's also treating and pampering plus looking good is also considering the others
There is nothing wrong with it if it doesn't hurt anybody.
You have a great blog dear!
I loved reading this
it made me think
No matter in what way, i hate when people are judged in a second (without really getting to know them). So often done, but so wrong, cause you can't possibly know how a person is just going by the appearance.
I don't think there's anything wrong with trying to look your best.. Who doesn't try to be their best in some way or another? Whether its about looks or talents