The Best Teacher in Life is Experience

 I do not believe in New Year resolutions or the fads that comes with it all! To me, every day is a new opportunity. An opportunity to make the best of it. Waking up and setting the intention to maximize my day, and then facing it to the best of my abilities has single handedly been the most valuable lesson I’ve learned this year. 

Reflecting on 2019 has allowed me to feel confident about my future and has given me the reassurance that I am in the right place. I have always been a pro at looking and planning for the future, and, until recently, I have always tried to be ten steps ahead of myself, at the expense of failing to take a moment to just be in the present. Now, I feel content and at ease. Not looking forward to the future but rather to the next day. Learning and pushing myself to appreciate the now with those that are closest. 

While I am not one to look back with regret or dwell on the past, 2019 is the year when my most significant adulthood mistakes have surfaced. Or, at least, what I consider to be mistakes, maybe they were just outcomes of inexperience. It was this year that I paid my dues for the reckless doings and habits of my twenties. 

It is true that the best teacher in life is experience. These are some of the lessons I’ve learned, and habits that I hope to carry on. 

Letting Go of People

I am incredibly fortunate to have a close group of friends that are like family. I am blessed to have a family as incredible as mine. I am surrounded by love and support. Thanks to them, I have never felt negatively about being single. I do not look to relationships with men to fulfill me. Of course, I do want a partner in life, but only if it is a right person. 

While I am not one to be open about my love life or personal relationships, this year I’ve learned a key lesson. I’ve learned to let go of people, and not in a superficial way with resent and grudges. Instead I’ve learned to truly let go, without having the need to understand why things did not work, but rather accepting the fact that they did not for a reason. This took six years to accept and a year to put into place before I finally set myself free. I’ve always blamed myself when things did not work, always looking to my own faults. I have come to embrace the fact that when it comes to relationships and dating, most of the time it will not work out and that is perfectly fine. However, I do believe that in the right time when things do work out, it will because faiths plays a role. I have faith that the people that are in my life, or those that are not in my life, are so for a reason. And I do not need to understand the reason but just accept it. 

Optimizing My Mind

I believe that our quality of life is greatly dependent on our mental well being. Our thoughts determine our actions, as well as our outlook. While I did have lots of dark moments, it is within them that I came to these realizations. I’ve spent much of the year reading books on philosophy that made me consider my existence. No, it is not an existential crisis, but more so an awareness of my own being. I’ve also been focusing on meditation and failing terribly at it. It has yet to become a daily habit but I am working on it. Coming back to my centre is a challenge at times but as long as I make it back that’s all that matters. 

Financial Responsibility

While I have been fortunate in my career, I’ve also been incredibly reckless with my finances. Perhaps this is because of a lack of education and a feeling of being invincible in my earning potential. However, this year, due to unforeseen circumstances, things got messy. While I will not go into details, I will say that my personal savings were depleted. At first frustrated, now I am grateful for the hard lessons that I’ve learned while young as they’ve put me on a better path. Learning them later in life could have led me to financial ruin. This was my most challenging lesson this year; however, now hello retirement planning and smart investing!

Surrendering Control 

When things got really tough, I just gave up and let things unfold and untangle on their own. All I did was focus on doing my best during the worst times. To my surprise, this worked! I’ve realized that letting go of control is liberating. I used to believe that keeping control over everything was a sure way to be able to predict everything, but was I ever wrong. Instead what turned out to be true is that sometimes going with the flow makes sense.

“Forcing outcomes is an expressway to failure. It’s like sand, the more you try to hold it in your hand the quicker it escapes. ”

The more I tried to control things, the more out of control everything became. Perhaps that is the way of natural order. Allowing myself to surrender to circumstances and focusing on my responses has been much more effective. This also led  me to be more patient and positive. I hope to continue doing so. 

None of these are groundbreaking thoughts. However, to me, embodying them in my life has led to  groundbreaking changes. As another year goes by, I wish you all a Happy New Year and encourage you to experience life from the most positive frame of mind. 

With Love…

Marta