Marta Tryshak

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Should Women Have it All?

Hello Darlings,  Today - March 8th - commemorates the movement for  women's rights and in the 21st century we’ve become the Wolf of the Wall Street. We graduate from the best universities, compete for the same internships that our future spouses may have and continue fighting to gain the top tier jobs within the corporate and political spheres. We do it all while staying fit and fabulous with the latest fashions, detoxes and fitness trends. The can’ts and don’ts of the 50s have turned into cans and wants of today. As a result of that drive we’re creating the world that is equal for us and our children and that is no small achievement. We conquer our goals one step at a time with perfectly polished nails!  However the ongoing question remains — can  or should women have it all?

While we aim for the greatness, we are haunted by the paradox of having it all. The 21st century idea that women absolutely need to have life-work balance along with a perfect family and marriage while maintaining that physique is a stimulus and  hindrance. As Gloria Steinem famously said,

"It’s a way of blaming a person rather than changing the structure."

The words could not be any more true! For  driven women to continue feeling guilty over a goal that any individual knows is not attainable seems to defy logic.

Having it all concept is precisely the reason why so many women can never feel utterly satisfied with their lives. Instead of appreciating what we’ve earned, achieved and conquered we continue to blindly chase “the dream”. How can it even be a dream when such goal makes us feel inadequate in the end. It is simply setting yourself up for failure and giving into the pressure of an ideal that is impossible to fulfill.

Rather than wasting energy on the juggling act and hoping that the balls never drop, it is  best to strive for balance. Balance that is focused on attainable goals. Goals that will add to our lives, ones that make sense to us at that given moment. When the time comes those goals change and rather than MBA we will strive to be great role models to our children and aim to never miss a ballet recital or a hockey game. Goals need to be reevaluated based on the circumstances and need to be celebrated when achieved. Therefore can or should women have it all, perhaps that is not the right question that we're being asked?

With Love...

Marta