Hello Darlings,  Today – March 8th – commemorates the movement for  women’s rights and in the 21st century we’ve become the Wolf of the Wall Street. We graduate from the best universities, compete for the same internships that our future spouses may have and continue fighting to gain the top tier jobs within the corporate and political spheres. We do it all while staying fit and fabulous with the latest fashions, detoxes and fitness trends. The can’ts and don’ts of the 50s have turned into cans and wants of today. As a result of that drive we’re creating the world that is equal for us and our children and that is no small achievement. We conquer our goals one step at a time with perfectly polished nails!  However the ongoing question remains — can  or should women have it all?

Marta Tryshak

While we aim for the greatness, we are haunted by the paradox of having it all. The 21st century idea that women absolutely need to have life-work balance along with a perfect family and marriage while maintaining that physique is a stimulus and  hindrance. As Gloria Steinem famously said, “It’s a way of blaming a person rather than changing the structure.” The words could not be any more true! For  driven women to continue feeling guilty over a goal that any individual knows is not attainable seems to defy logic.

Having it all concept is precisely the reason why so many women can never feel utterly satisfied with their lives. Instead of appreciating what we’ve earned, achieved and conquered we continue to blindly chase “the dream”. How can it even be a dream when such goal makes us feel inadequate in the end. It is simply setting yourself up for failure and giving into the pressure of an ideal that is impossible to fulfill.


Rather than wasting energy on the juggling act and hoping that the balls never drop, it is  best to strive for balance. Balance that is focused on attainable goals. Goals that will add to our lives, ones that make sense to us at that given moment. When the time comes those goals change and rather than MBA we will strive to be great role models to our children and aim to never miss a ballet recital or a hockey game. Goals need to be reevaluated based on the circumstances and need to be celebrated when achieved. Therefore can or should women have it all, perhaps that is not the right question that we’re being asked?

With Love…




  1. Nataliya
    March 11, 2017 / 9:37 am

    Great post, Marta! I often think of the same thing when it comes to that ideal of the woman these days. I do not want to say that all women have “social pressure” to have and do it all, but it certainly makes a lot of women not satisfied with themselves and thinking that they are not enough. Some of it, even comes from the beautiful images on Social Media where women , in a way, compete, for that “I have got it all” image and not mentioning tiny bits of how that reality actually happens.
    Nonetheless, I am always empowered and amazed by all women I know . It is amazing how much we dream and set goals for ourselves no matter of our already busy lives.

    Thank you again for writing this post!

    • March 22, 2017 / 12:43 am

      Hi Nataliya,
      Thank you so much for such a thoughtful comment and for taking a moment to read the article!

      I absolutely agree that social media does contribute to it. Personally, I feel that pressure and perhaps it is one that I put on myself. I hope by sharing my own experience, I can connect with likeminded women 🙂


  2. Brian Davis
    March 27, 2017 / 8:01 pm

    Great post. My perspective is from the other side of the coin. Yes women should have it all. And men should have it all. I’ve never understood why these barriers were there. If you want to exceed, go for it. Hopefully in this day and age there’s no ignorant male to shut a women’s dreams down, and if there is, shame on him. And the same in return. ( although I think history has proved the latter doesn’t often happen). Whether you’re female or male show what you’ve got and have others admire you. There’s nothing better than a confident women that men look up to and again the same in reverse.

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