Hello Darlings, The day after my 25th birthday I felt like a weight of the world has come crushing down on my shoulders. Not sure what changed within twenty four hours but on that day two years ago it all did. It’s as if the switch went off in my mind and the priorities have shifted or perhaps I finally established some. Within the past two years I have struggled in finding myself and envisioning what I want my life to be. It was during that classic dilemma of “20s are for making mistakes” and that “the 30s are the new 20s” where I finally realized that neither of those were true. Perhaps a comforting thought when you’re trying to navigate adulthood but far from truth. In fact, the opposite is true.
Our 20s is the most significant decade of adulthood where 80% of life’s most defining moments take place by the age of 35. Therefore the 30s are definitely not the new 20s because even the lack of action or decisions will define your life. Not making choices is a choice all the same. Upon realizing that there’s no pause from life regardless of the age that I’ve finally come to terms with importance of being a twenty-something.
The expectations and pressures that we face in planning for future can be terrifying, perhaps that is why 67% of women find the “where do you see yourself in five years?” overwhelming. Millennial women deal with rapidly developing world where everything is done within moments therefore planning five years ahead is nearly impossible and discouraging. Majority of Canadian women feel much more empowered to set goal within three year time frame with 80% knowing exactly what they want to achieve during that period. As a result, goals turn into actions. Be reasonable and kind to yourself in setting goals, because nothing disappoints more than setting yourself for failure. Therefore write down tangible goals and get working girl!
I’m turning 30 in 3 years and I feel that these years will be defining in shaping the rest of my life. I look back on the past 3 years and everything I have worked for has lead up to this moment. For the first time in my life I have a clear understanding of what I want to accomplish. Not just ideas but concrete goals. Did you know that the top ranked priorities for millennial women in Canada are Career (52%), Finances — getting out of debt, investing or saving (45%), and School (38 %). In comparison to our parents generation, the priorities for women have shifted drastically therefore facing pressures from family is common also. Just remember that you live in a different time and therefore you face a new set of challenges than your parents or grandparents did. While respecting their opinions, it is important not to be swayed by them when working towards your goals.
For the past three years I focused on finishing my studies which included attaining a post-graduate diploma in marketing from University of Toronto, which is also where I went for my undergrad. I purchased my first home a year ago and I’m almost done with renovating it. Lastly, I focused on letting go of negative feelings and experiences that I did not want to shape my future. Now with those goals complete, my next three years will focus on career, financial security and finding balance in personal life.
(Make up by Ritual Toronto// Images taken at Trump Toronto)
Three concrete goals in three years. The first and most important one to me is my career. I’ve dedicated the past seven years on building a brand and business that I can be proud of and in the next few months I will launch my dream. For the past year I have been developing a social media agency and while it is a terrifying next step I have a great team behind me. I can’t wait to share more about the launch. In the meantime, I am focusing on not losing the vision and not allowing the downfalls cripple my confidence to keep pushing forward. I live and breathe my work and in turn this goal is the most important one to me!
While I have always been an aware spender, I’ve had a few financial mistakes where I’ve learned harsh lessons on preparing for future. I’m fortunate not to carry any school debt and continue to navigate responsibilities of owning a property. My next step is saving for retirement and also for comfort. I am eager to have a better understanding of markets and financial management where I can become better at making smarter decisions both personally and professionally. My goal is to learn and continue to discipline myself at making decisions for the long haul as opposed to short-term validations. Financial independence and security is very important to me.
Now my final goal is to find balance between my personal and work life. While I’ve always had a close group of friends and family around me, I haven’t been so lucky in relationships. The last one I was in ended three years ago and was a colossal fail. It lead to my choice of staying away from commitment. Now that I’ve accepted it for what it is and despite the trust issues still being there I’ve learned to be positive. With each day I learn to be more open and hopefully in the next three years I will have the relationship that I have always wanted. One that is based on mutual respect, understanding and most importantly partnership.
Coming from Eastern European background, family is everything. It took me a while to accept a fact that my grandmas will continue to ask me when I plan on getting married. Or that at every family dinner, the topic of marriage and children will continue to surface. While I look forward to having a family one day, it is not my priority at this stage in life. Finding reassurance in your decision is important when facing curious family and friends. It is your life and therefore you know best what decisions to make including not having to justify your choice to not have children or want marriage just yet. You never know what life has in store for you however to me it is important to first establish yourself prior to focusing on family.
That’s the thing about goals, they are personal. The decisions pertaining to your life are yours to make. It’s your life, never allow anyone define it for you. Share your goals for the next few years on Instagram or Twitter using #3YearGoals or in the comments below!
Images by Arnold Lan
*in collaboration with Bayer Inc., The views and opinions expressed are my own.