Hello Darlings, As I browsed the new arrivals section at the Holt Renfrew I came across a beautiful dress that stood out within a rack of “cool and hip” clothing. The dress just didn’t seem to belong in the midst of T by Alexander Wang tees and Rag & Bone pullovers. From the delicate silk sleeves that highlighted shoulders and a simple linen A-line form of the dress; in my eyes it was perfection! The dress was designed by Paul & Joe Sister which is a diffusion line of the eponymous French label. I’ve always adored the quirky and cheeky designs of the brand.
As I came out of the change room, my mother loved the it. Since I was shopping for Miami Swim Week, she made one remark that sparkled an entire debate within me. She said, “Marta you know the dress is not sexy, it’s beautiful. Will you feel comfortable wearing it in Miami?” At first I thought the remark to be entirely random but the more I thought about it, I realized that she had a preconceived notion of what “Miami look” is and demure was definitely not part of the look. She knows me but she also wanted to ensure that I would not feel out of place in a city that oozes sex appeal. Which got me thinking: is sexy a more important quality than beautiful to women today?
Nowadays, women place a lot of emphasis on sexing up their features such as lip fillers, eye lash extensions, cheek fillers and breast enlargements. I am all for feeling good about yourself. However I’ve been noticing increasingly many more young women in their early 20s having troubling amounts of nips and tucks. Which made me wonder, how important is it to look sexy in today’s world?
I’ve always felt that sexy is not an external feature but rather a feeling – an attitude towards oneself. Full lips, large breast, curvy figure, long eyelashes and high cheek bones seem to have become the primary qualities that resonate with the “sexy look” followed by a bronzed look and a tight dress with 5 inch heels. While I am a huge supporter of women taking their time to look good, these habits are becoming progressively troubling as the age of women who get these procedures gets younger.
My little white dress purchase sparked an entire debate within me and Miami became the destination that gave light to my theory. It appears that sexy has become an illusion of physical features that many women are trying to attain. We have began to develop a stereotype of what “sexy” should be defined as, and it is one that solely focused on the physical features. Sexy is an attitude that every woman has natural power to embody and therefore reducing it to a mere physical quality diminished a woman’s perspective of herself and the relationship with her body. Plus, what’s great about looking alike? What happened to individuality?
Every woman has the right to feel sexy and look beautiful, however I feel that our society is creating a generation of women who are simply insecure. Feeling good about yourself is skin deep, so how can we expect ourselves to feel satisfied with our bodies when beauty is no longer celebrated. Instead sex appeal is. So the next time you feel like something’s wrong with you physically, take a moment to focus on what is beautiful. Embrace the person that you are and focus on what it is that you love rather than what is expected.
So while my dress may not have been “Miami appropriate”, I sure as hell loved wearing it to a beautiful breakfast at Soho Beach House Hotel, hosted by Tory Burch. For more on the breakfast please check out my article on TheYouthSociety.com. As for the dress, it made me feel beautiful and like a lady which at the end of the day is a great feeling. So wear what you want because there’s nothing worse than feeling uncomfortable in your own skin. It is easier to embrace nature’s gift to you than trying to fix it! Also always feel sexy because naturally as a woman you are. Because you’re a woman you’re sexy, desired and loved. So just embrace it!