Hello Darlings, Break up and move on — easier said, than done! I mean really, how do you just let go of the past and look forward to the future with all the hope in the world? Let’s be frank, you can’t. Not until you’ve spent too much money on shoes, had a terrible hangover or two, taken a ridiculously expensive vacation and gained 5 pounds. The reality of breaking up is that there is no easy way and it will hurt and hurt brutally. However it is in those moments when the ice cream doesn’t even taste good anymore and that expensive pair of shoes is in fact kinda ugly, that you need to adjust your perspective. Break ups suck. You get hurt. You get over. End of the story.
Couple of years ago on a spring afternoon, I packed my life as I knew it into two suitcases and left my Montreal home. It took one morning, one revelation and my entire life came crushing down. That’s the thing about people, the ones that are closest to you tend to hurt you most. Aside from a fact that we had a toxic relationship, it was also one where I was being constantly told that I am nothing without him. After I left, I really did feel like nothing.
Looking back, I do not regret what has happened as I am much tougher now. Will I ever be the same person, definitely not. Once an experience had an impact on your life, you never go back to the way you were. The scars will always be there as permanent reminders, and you will look at relationships in a different light. For me the experience had less to do with my feelings getting hurt but the toll that it took on my self esteem and confidence. Aside from the betrayal, my business also became a target. Everything that I worked for since university years I was at risk of losing. Unlike hurt feelings heal, that type of betrayal never leaves your side.
So while I may have never shared this before, I hope that by doing so I can encourage one woman to leave a relationship that is toxic. Simply because it is not worth sacrificing yourself for. You may think that this person has your best interest at heart and that this is their way of caring, it’s not. Nor is it healthy. Until this day, I believe in great relationships and the love and support that another individual can bring into life. However whenever there is more negative than positive, what’s the point? Relationships are supposed to make us stronger, not the opposite.
With time I learned that I am just as happy on my own as I am with a partner. It took a long time to get to this point, I am not going to lie. And while most of my friends are happily coupled, I am glad to have dedicated the past few years to work and myself. I’ve established my business with an investor, launched TheYouthSociety.com, and purchased my first home however most importantly I am proud of the woman that I am becoming. There is no feeling worse for a woman than to doubt and question your self-worth. Hopefully with time, every woman learns to embrace herself and her shortcomings. It’s important to support one another and there are so many wonderful ways to do it.
I am very happy to be a part of Break Up and Move global initiative with stops at 6 Canadian universities. Each event is open to everyone, not just students and includes free yoga class followed by a discussion with relationship expert Kimberly Moffit and health expert. The upcoming two events are at Western and Ottawa universities, with all of the details above.
Just remember that healing takes time and there’s no point rushing, especially by jumping into another relationship. Don’t try to cover your weakness with companionship, but instead focus on yourself. Allow yourself to be upset and hurt, then go out into the world and do what makes you happy! My parents always tell me that a right person will add to your life, so while that person may or may not come along doesn’t mean that my life will be on pause. Live your life wholeheartedly because you’re the only person that can make it complete.
*in collaboration with Narrative PR. The views and opinions expressed are my own.